(Scene fades inside a public zoo. There are a few people in the neighbourhood but we focus on our main hero. There is a guy wearing a lion outfit prancing around his area, looking really bored. He lies down and yawns as the camera zooms in on his fake teeth. Well developed. Now I know you have never seen somebody dress up like a lion but let's just say this guy has just recently been released from the mental institution. That's really irelevant information so you should instantly forget what you just read. Let's just listen to the lion grunt.)

Simba: (in his head) I'm so fucking bored, I'm so fucking bored, I'm so fucking bored...

(He's really bored....)

Simba: (in his head) I really need to do something. I need a woman. Lioness. Or just a woman. The breed doesn't matter.

(He's horny.. maybe the title of this short story should be somewhere in the lines of "Simba the horny lion", "Simba does the Zoo". Because people let me tell you something. When you have a horny lion on your hands, you know you're heading for trouble...)

Simba: If only Lyle was to bring me a steak....

(Suddenly whistling is heard. It sounds really awful. You know, like one of those tone deaf people tried to whistle. And in our picture walks a man wearing an official Lori's Zoo uniform and carrying a big bag of raw meat. You'd guess he is Lyle. However, the guy is wearing a lucha mask tightly over his face. It's yellow and black with big bold L and B on each side. Upon seeing him, Simba gets up cheerfully. Lyle throws Simba a big juicy stake and the lion consumes it in a second. That's kind of weird if you ask me but I'll live with it. Now that he's fed, the two engage in a friendly conversation.)

Lyle: So Simba, what's up?

Simba: Nothing new essa. I need to get me some lovin.

(Once again... this is not really a lion!)

Lyle: This is your lucky day, Simba the horny lion..

Simba: The not-so-happy lion...

Lyle: Right. Anyway, I just passed two pornstars on my way here...

Simba: Pornstars???

Lyle: Yeah... they could barely keep their hands off eachother so I'm guessing they want to find a place to get cosy. Now if I say I know of a place and that my good friend is a virgin...

Simba: HEY!

Lyle: Oh come on Simba.

Simba: I'm no virgin!

Lyle: It's ok. Don't be embarassed. Even some great people were, are and will always stay virgins...

Simba: Oh yea? Name one?

Lyle: The Hen....

Simba: Who?

Lyle: You don't know who The Hen is? He's world famous wrestler and he's a virgin...

Simba: Hey... freakazoid. I'm a lion and I don't have a TV in here. And how did we get from lovin to wrestling?

Lyle: Oh you know I'm a part time wrestler. I used to go by my last name Broadway but I figure it's cool to call myself Lay Bee now. Anyway as far as loving and wrestling goes? Man those two things are so closely connected that you wouldn't even dream. Every wrestler can get laid.

Simba: Didn't you just mention that The Chicken is still a virgin...

Lyle: Yes, but he's special. Everyone else gets laid on regular basis?

Simba: Really? (revelation) I WANT TO BECOME A WRESTLER.

Lyle: Cool! We'll make a tag team called Lori's Zoo!

(As this weird combination of a 'lion' and a human discuss their wrestling options, two luscious blondes walk into the set. Jenna Jameson and Briana 'the loose ass' Banks.)

Jenna: Hello.

Lyle and Simba: Uga-uga-uga-uga-----wof wof wof...

Briana: Hello.

Jenna: I've never seen a lion that can talk.

Simba: I'm a phonoeme....err...

Lyle: Phenomenon.

Simba: What he said.

Briana: (reaches over the fence that keeps Simba from the outside and she deliberately pushes out her ass while doing it) OH, you are so cute...

Simba: Yeah. I know. So... wanna fuck me? You know I will be a wrestler.

Jenna and Briana: A wrestler?

Jenna: Wrestlers are gay!

Briana: YEA!

Simba: They are? Lyle, are wrestler's really gay?

Lyle: Well...

Simba: But you said wrestlers get all the pussy...

Lyle: No... I said wrestlers get laid all the time. Didn't mention no pussy. (smirks) You know how it is in the locker rooms. Big, sweatty, muscular men wearing nothing but a towell...

Jenna and Briana: Mmmmm....

Simba: EEeeewwwwwwww!!!

Lyle: What?

Simba: I don't wanna be a wrestler anymore!

Lyle: Look... you don't have to be. I'll take you to one show with me. This IW promotion is holding a PPV and we're gonna break in and kick someone's ass. You'll see...it's cool.

Simba: I dunno..

Lyle: C'mon...

Simba: Okay, I guess I'll go.

Jenna: So... ummm... we're outta here...

(Yeah, they played a big role alright...)

Simba: But... what about sex  with me?

(Jenna looks at Briana. Briana smirks and frenches Jenna, caressing her right boob in the process.)

Jenna: Sorry...

(Briana opens her purse and pulls out a 10 inch pink dildo)

Briana: Today it's "No boys allowed". I bought this in the zoo souvenir shop...

(Dildo in a zoo souvenir shop? WTF?)

Lyle: Wait? You're lesbians?

SImba: You love lesbians? Wait now I'm really confused.

(Scene fades to black...)